The words we use on ourselves and on others, have power.
Power of encouraging and power of enraging. Power of engaging and power of endamaging. Power of entertaining and power of enfeebling.
This girl whom I know has a habit. When she sees someone, she often gives her comments, like ‘you look so tired’, ‘you look so pale’, ‘you look so bloated’.
In my honest opinion, it is very unwise to give another person irrelevant and unnecessary negative comments. Not only you make person feel bad about himself or herself, you make the person feel bad about you.
On the other hand, another girl I know is the total opposite of the person I mentioned. Nothing negative comes out of her lips. When someone is in an unpleasant situation, she always tries her best to cheer the person up. For instance when a person fails, she would go up to the person, give the person a pat on the shoulder and say ‘it is alright to fail. It gives you good experience. Do you know how many times Thomas Edison failed? 10,000 times! He didn’t feel that he failed, he discovered 10,000 times of not making lightbulb.’
Does it make the person feel better? I would say the person feels worse. When it comes to the ‘heart issue’, she needs to speak from the heart not the mind.
I am fortunate to have met people in who speak from their hearts. They are definitely not self-righteous impostors who hide under the veneer of compassion, neither are they the obsequious pleasers who do only lip service. They are so sincere, you could feel them.
Hence choose your words carefully, because each word shows the warmth of your heart.