According to a marriage and relationship counselor Dr. Gary Chapman, there are 5 ways of expressing and receiving love, which he termed them as ‘love languages’. Everyone has at least a primary love language, that means the person feels most loved while another person expresses love with his or her primary love language.
These 5 love languages are quality time, words of affirmation, gifts, acts of service and physical touch. All 5 of them are important, but to make a person feel genuinely loved, one must speak the person’s primary love language. Take me for example, my primary love language is quality time, if I have two equally good gentlemen pursuing me, one always talks to me, brings me around and involves me in many activities, another one brings me flowers, buys me books I have always wanted and gives me handmade cards everyday. Who expresses love more effectively to me compared to another? Answer is the first one. However the situation might be different if my primary love language is receiving gifts.
It doesn’t mean one must only speak the only primary love language of the loved one to show love, we need to express love in 5 ways, but to make our loved ones feel really loved, we must speak the person’s primary love language.
I read the book ‘The Five Love Languages’ a while ago, but recently I came across this book ‘The Five Love Languages for Singles’ by Dr. Chapman at Carefour for only RM5! The first one is more for married couples while the latter is catered for single people.
This is a useful book to me, it helps in building meaningful relationships and the right way to enjoy them.
You can click here for a free assessment to find out your primary love language.
God wires us in a way to love others and to long for love, hence let’s love, the right way~